- About Us
- Connect
- Learn
- Jewish Life
- Music
- Events
- Give
- Join Us
To be alone
10/18/2020 02:37:08 PM
Author | |
Date Added | |
Automatically create summary | |
Summary |
Several months ago, while walking on a raw, gray afternoon, I passed by an old house with the porch light on. Perhaps it was the weather, or my own dampened mood, but the sight of a porch light on in the middle of the day made me feel sad.
As I walked, I wondered what made me so sad about seeing a porch light on in the middle of the day. Of course, the house could have been empty, and the illuminated light bulb merely an oversight. But in that moment, I imagined that there was a person inside that house, a person waiting for a loved one to return.
I further imagined that the light had been turned on in the hope that the loved one would have returned the previous night, and the loved one did not return, so the light still burned, keeping a lonely vigil. In that moment, it seemed to me that the porch light represented the very image of loneliness. That is what made me sad.
“It is not good for man to be alone,” we read in the Torah. In the Torah’s second story of creation, the first human is created as a single being, sculpted from damp clay and animated with the breath of God. After the first human is created, God says “it is not good for man to be alone.” This observation leads to the creation of the first woman.
“It is not good to be alone.” Let’s take a closer look at the assumption behind that statement. As a strong introvert, I value the time I spend in solitude. The time I choose to spend alone refreshes me – that is the definition of an introvert. (It’s not correct to say that introverts don’t like people, only that introverts need a certain amount of “alone time.”) So I suggest an amended reading of the verse “It is not good to be alone.”
Perhaps it is better to say: It is not good to be lonely. It’s not good if we crave companionship and find it lacking. After all, loneliness is not something you feel only when you are physically alone. It is quite possible to feel lonely even in a crowd of people. It is quite possible to feel lonely even while spending time with a friend. It is quite possible to feel lonely even in a marriage.
A few years ago I read an article that claimed there is no single word in English that means “the opposite of loneliness.” Marina Keegan’s collection of essays and stories published under the title “The Opposite of Loneliness” after her untimely death in a car accident does not offer a single word that captures “the Opposite of Loneliness.” Instead, she wrote:
It’s not quite love and it’s not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together. Who are on your team.
In this time of physical separation, it can be harder to feel part of “an abundance of people who are on your team.” Without the opportunity to gather so freely for informal conversation and shared experiences, we may feel as if we are going through our struggles alone. We may have to remind ourselves that being a part of a team requires communication. Practice. Contact. It requires work.
It took me a while to figure out what struck me as sad and lonely about the porch light left on in the middle of the day. I had imagined that the light represented the act of waiting for someone to return, an entirely passive act. We live in a time in which the passive act of waiting for human companionship does not serve us well.
Instead, when we feel loneliness creep into our hearts, we must be active, to seek out the people with whom we can talk, even if only on a screen, or on the phone, or with masks and six feet separating us.
In this sacred community we are among an abundance of people. And we are on the same team. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves of that fact. Because while it can be good to be alone, it is never good to feel alone.
Mon, May 6 2024
28 Nisan 5784
Temple israel Happenings
-
Saturday ,
MayMay 11 , 2024Brotherhood-Sisterhood Movie Night: The Apartment
Shabbat, May 11th 7:00pm to 9:30pm
"The Apartment". From 1960, the story of a young New York insurance company employee, trying to get ahead by “loaning” his apartment to other executives. His life becomes complicated with unintended consequences when he falls in love with the office-building elevator operator. Directed by the legendary Billy Wilder it stars Jack Lemmon & Shirley McClaine in one of their best roles. The movie is a beautiful and funny love story but also a pointed commentary on office politics, morality and how certain men treat women, circa 1960. The Broadway play “Promises, Promises” is the musical version of this wonderful film. -
Tuesday ,
MayMay 14 , 2024Current Events
Tuesday, May 14th 10:30am to 12:00pm
On the second Tuesday of each month, from 10:30 -12:00, join us at the Temple for our lively discussion around issues of local, national and international news events. We cover everything from breaking news to issues around health and well being and more! If you can't come in person, contact Shari at sbaum@wjcs.com to receive a link to join us virtually. -
Wednesday ,
MayMay 15 , 2024Sisterhood Year-End Dinner with Authors Jane Applegate & Alice Look
Wednesday, May 15th 6:30pm to 9:00pm
Come to vote on our 2024-25 budget and slate of officers. Then, in honor of Mother’s Day, Sisterhood member Jane Applegate and her creative collaborator, Alice Look, will lead a lively discussion of remarkable women throughout history based on Look’s new book: Remarkable Women: Reclaiming Their Stories. This multimedia, interactive program features stories about extraordinary mothers, daughters and sisters whose stories span centuries. All profits from books sold that evening support the Remarkable Women Project Inc., a nonprofit educational organization. -
Friday ,
MayMay 17 , 2024Shabbat Shabbang
Friday, May 17th 5:00pm to 6:00pm
Join our clergy for songs, music, crafts, challah, pizza, and yummy treats! We welcome families with children 7 and under (and their older siblings). Bring a friend to share in our Shabbat!
Events
Today's Calendar
Yom HaShoah |
Friday Night
: 7:00pm |
Candle Lighting : 7:45pm |
Shabbat Day
: 9:30am |
: 10:30am |
: 7:00pm |
Upcoming Programs & Events
May 8 |
May 11 |
May 11 |
May 12 |
May 14 |
This week's Torah portion is Parashat K'doshim
Shabbat, May 11 |
Candle Lighting
Friday, May 10, 7:45pm |
Yom HaShoah
Monday, May 6 |